We speak often on this blog about the difficulties that come with planning and attending the funeral of a loved one. There are many ways to prepare in advance to help create a smoother experience for yourself. For example, pre-planning arrangements for yourself or your loved one. But there are more nuanced helpful ways to reduce stress than the literal preparation for the event.
Set Boundaries:
We hear the term boundaries often these days. It has become a bit of a buzzword, but it’s quite important in so many aspects of our lives to have clearly defined boundaries to protect our own mental well-being. When it comes to dealing with the loss of a loved one, having clearly defined funeral boundaries in place can really help. Many funeral homes provide a private room for the immediate family. Make sure it’s clear that the family room is only intended for the immediate family of the deceased. It’s too easy for the room to fill up with well-intentioned people, but that defeats the very important purpose of the space. The immediate family needs a space that is calm and private. Your funeral director can help in making sure this boundary is respected.
Ditch the drama:
All reasons and excuses aside, funerals can bring out drama. It’s the last thing a person needs when taking care of funeral arrangements and coming to terms with the death of a loved one. In many cases, the simplest way to deal with this sort of thing is to find a family friend or extended family member who can snuff out drama before it starts.
Consider grief counseling/therapy:
As can be seen from the tips above, the key is to take the best care of yourself that’s possible during this time. Grief counseling and therapy can go a long way for many people. Other things to consider are grief and loss support groups in your area.
When it comes down to it, don’t be afraid to utilize your funeral director to the fullest extent. Ask every question that comes to mind, have them enforce boundaries, and more. Your expectations of the funeral director should be high and because of the sensitive nature of this business, most of the time, your high expectations will be met and even exceeded.