Left Behind: Why Thousands of Cremated Remains Go Unclaimed Each Year

At the surface level, it seems unfathomable that cremated remains could go unclaimed, but it does happen. It’s a difficult topic for the obvious reason that unclaimed remains is a sad set of circumstances, but also quite challenging because there are no set rules on reporting or mitigating the matter.

The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) estimates that about 1% of all cremations go unclaimed. Based on the rate of cremation in the United States, this means approximately 15,000 sets of remains could go unclaimed each year.

This story from The War Horse tells us the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) estimates around 21,000 veteran remains are currently unclaimed. It goes on to explain that the Missing in America Project believes the number to be significantly higher and expands on what the Project is doing to help.

This issue is not limited to the United States, the BBC reports that as many as 300,000 sets of ashes are currently unclaimed across the United Kingdom. One funeral director suggests that beyond the situation of no next of kin, some people simply don’t have a plan for their loved ones’ ashes and as time passes, they decide to leave them with the funeral home.

Funeral industry associations like the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) offer training courses and advice on how to reduce the number of unclaimed ashes, but there is more work to be done on the topic.

One of the best solutions to this problem is permanent placement of cremains. Toledo Memorial Park can help with this. The Park offers many options for cremated remains from a mausoleum niche to cremation ground burial to scattering in the prairie, there’s an option to suit everyone. Reach out today for more information.  

A Guide to Planning a Funeral

Planning a funeral can be overwhelming as you’re faced with making several decisions during a time of grief. Having a grasp of the key steps involved as well as important terms to understand can help make the process smoother. The team at Toledo Memorial Park is here to help, feel free to reach out any time with questions.

Determine the Type of Service

• Traditional Funeral Service: A formal service with a viewing, a religious or secular ceremony and burial or cremation.

• Memorial Service: A gathering to honor the deceased without the body present.

• Graveside Service: A simple ceremony held at the burial site.

• Direct Cremation/Burial: No formal service, just the cremation or burial itself.

• Celebration of Life: A less formal, personalized service focusing on the deceased’s life rather than mourning. 

Choose Burial or Cremation

• Burial: In-ground at a cemetery, in a mausoleum or in a family plot.

• Cremation: Ashes can be kept in an urn, scattered, placed in a columbarium, or buried.

Important Terms:

• Interment: The act of placing the body or ashes in a final resting place.

• Casket: A box used to hold the deceased’s body.

• Columbarium: A structure that houses cremation urns.

• Crypt: An above-ground burial site, often in a mausoleum.

• Mausoleum: A building on the grounds of a cemetery that functions as an above-ground burial plot.

• Niche: A recess in the wall of the columbarium where the urn is placed.

• Urn: A container for cremated remains.

• Vault: A container into which the casket is placed before burial, made of concrete or metal. 

Select a Funeral Home and/or Cemetery

A funeral director or the staff at a full-service cemetery can help you coordinate all aspects of the services. They can assist with paperwork, transportation and legal requirements.

Cemeteries like Toledo Memorial Park have buildings on site that are available for ceremonies.

Important Terms:

• Death Certificate: An official document stating the cause and details of death.

• Embalming: Preserving the body for a number of days allowing time for viewing and funeral services.

Plan the Ceremony and Personalization

Decide on details including:

• Officiant: Someone to run the ceremony. Usually a religious leader, a celebrant or family member.

• Music & Readings: Songs, poems or religious texts.

• Eulogies: Speeches honoring the deceased.

• Flowers & Decorations: Beautify the ceremony’s setting.

Arrange Transportation

The funeral director will be able to assist with transportation needs, if necessary.

• Hearse: A vehicle that transports the casket.

• Procession: A group of vehicles traveling together to the burial site.

• Pallbearers: Individuals who carry the casket.

Notify Family and Friends

Things to consider:

• Obituary: A written acknowledgment of the deceased’s life published in a local newspaper and online. Often invites readers to attend the funeral.

• Invitations: Email or mail notices with the funeral details.

Final Thoughts

As with any topic, being armed with information helps. Funeral planning can be emotional, and knowing what needs to be done can ease the stress. Whether you’re planning or pre-planning, let the team at your Park assist and provide helpful guidance and support.

Prepare for Your Future by Pre-planning Funeral Arrangements

A topic that is on repeat for us here at the Park is pre-planning funeral arrangements. It’s on repeat because it’s important. There are big benefits to taking this preparatory step for you and for your family. Pre-planning is a practical decision that will alleviate future emotional and financial burdens during a time of grief.

Financial Security

Plain and simple, the most obvious benefit of pre-planning is the ability to lock in current service prices, protecting against future inflation and cost increases. This approach makes sure your family won't face unexpected expenses and eases a potential financial burden.

Personalized Arrangements

As we’ve talked about before, pre-planning allows you to have input into your own arrangements. From selecting the type of service to choosing specific readings or music, you can be a part of planning your farewell helping to make sure the event is a true representation of your life. This really does offer comfort to those left behind. Making decisions while grieving can be very challenging.

Reducing Emotional Stress

Funerals are overwhelming for loved ones. They’ve just lost a special person and things move fast. By having your plans in place; you relieve your family from making difficult choices, allowing them to focus on healing and celebrating your life without added stress.

Ensuring Your Wishes Are Honored

This goes along with personalizing your arrangements, but pre-planning provides clear documentation of your preferences. This clarity can prevent potential disagreements among family members and provides peace of mind, knowing that the arrangements will be carried out according to your wishes.

Pre-planning is a thoughtful gesture that offers emotional and financial benefits to your loved ones. Get in touch with us at the Park today. We can help.

The Evolution of the Obituary

Obituaries are a simple way to honor and remember lost loved ones. Historically, these documents were concise announcements detailing basic information such as the deceased's name, age, immediate family names and funeral arrangements. Over time, like so many things, obituaries have evolved, reflecting broader societal changes and technological advancements.

A Shift Toward Personalization

A desire has emerged to use the obituary to truly celebrate an individual’s unique life and personality. Today, obituaries include personal anecdotes, achievements and insights into the deceased's personality, providing a more comprehensive picture of a life lived. This trend reflects the societal value of individual stories and legacies.

The Impact of Digital Media

Digital media has further transformed the obituary. Online platforms allow for interactive memorials where friends and family can share memories, photos and condolences. This digital shift broadens the reach of obituaries and allows for even more personalization.

Obituaries can serve as rich narratives that capture the essence of the individual. They may highlight personal passions, unique experiences and even humor. For many families, these additions provide added comfort and a lasting tribute to share.

The modern obituary has transformed from a simple death announcement to a personalized narrative that celebrates the unique journey of each individual. This evolution underscores the enduring human desire to remember and honor our loved ones in meaningful ways.

For more on changes and evolution in obituary writing, check out this story. It gets into the details about how newspapers used to treat obituaries and how it works in many cases today. The author also explains how funeral homes can often assist with obituary writing.

Grief is Complicated: Tips on supporting grieving employees

Grief comes and goes. It’s tricky that way. An employee who has recently lost a loved one doesn’t just end their grief period upon returning to the workplace. This article draws on expertise and insight from the funeral profession to offer valuable and useful lessons on helping staff deal with grief in the workplace.

Funerals and memorials are open spaces where emotions can be freely expressed, and people can seek out support without any fear of stigmas or pushback. When the topic of grief and loss isn’t treated as taboo, it enables people to function better during challenging times.

Creating a supportive environment can look a lot of different ways. Some options to consider include:

Establishing a clear bereavement policy. Take the time to create a bereavement policy that offers flexibility. For instance, some businesses provide a set number of paid bereavement days that the employee can utilize during a set period of time, such as six months, allowing them the time they need even if it hits months after the loved one is actually lost.

Promote open communication. Build a workplace culture where discussing difficult topics like grief is normalized. Having an open environment helps employees feel supported.

Provide access to resources. Consider offering grief counseling options or connection to local support groups and mental health services.

Train managers and leaders. Provide managers with skills and training to be able to support grieving employees. Training might include recognizing the signs of grief and knowing how to offer the appropriate support options.

Research does indicate that the workplace can function as a place of refuge for a grieving person. This shows the importance of fostering a supportive workplace that allows flexibility and provides resources.

Supporting employees dealing with grief is very important. It requires empathy, the ability to pivot and proactiveness on the part of the company. Acknowledging and accommodating the grieving process will create emotionally healthy employees and a sought-after work environment. Reach out to the team at the Park any time for more information or assistance with this topic.

What to Expect at a Funeral, Plus Helpful Tips

Funeral etiquette and expectations is a topic that comes up often in our neck of the woods. Attending a funeral is an emotional experience regardless of how close you were to the deceased. You might simply be there to provide support to someone during their time of grief and that’s an equally important reason. We’ve compiled this guide to help you through the process of navigating a funeral to help you feel prepared and respectful.

The Basics:

Funerals tend to have a typical structure and often include:

Arrival: Guests arrive, sign a guestbook and mingle.

Service or Ceremony: This, traditionally, includes readings, eulogy, preferred religion of the family and music. Today, families might include more personalized elements like videos and slideshows, etc…

Viewing or Visitation: Some funerals include an opportunity to pay respects to an open casket.

Procession and Burial/Interment: This may include a drive to the cemetery where the deceased will be buried or have cremains interred.

Reception: Many families choose to have a gathering with food and a celebration of life.

Tips for Handling Crying and Grief:

As we said above, funerals are emotional for many reasons. Here are some ways to handle the emotions with grace:

Be Prepared: Go into the event understanding that you might cry and others will cry. It’s totally normal. Bring tissues for yourself and to share.

Practice Mindfulness: Some people find it helpful to focus on breathing to help regulate emotions.

Lean on People for Support: Find friends and family who you can be vulnerable with in this emotional setting. And be that support for others if needed.

General Etiquette:

Arrive on time.

Dress appropriately.

Be respectful of the program as well as family customs and religion.

Turn off your electronics.

Exiting the Event:

Choose a quiet moment, a pause between program sections, or between speakers.

Use a rear exit or the most discreet exit, if you need to leave during the event.

Express condolences if the opportunity to do so is timely. If you are leaving before the event is over, express condolences at a later date with a card or message.

Hopefully, these tips and explanations are helpful to you. Attending a funeral can be daunting, but it is a sign of respect and support that goes a very long way for the people you love.

For more on grief and loss, this article from Psychology Today may be helpful.  

Exercises for Living a Meaningful Life

The idea of living life to the fullest or living a meaningful life can mean a lot of things to different people. One funeral director puts a strategy to practice each year as a way of helping him assess his life to make sure he’s living according to his values and therefore living a meaningful life. Victor Sweeney takes time at the end of each year to write his own obituary. He goes on to say this practice forces him to confront difficult questions like “What truly matters?”

This story opens up a broader conversation about how we all can accept this level of intention into our lives. This is a great example of an exercise in stepping back and evaluating your own journey. Other ideas include:

The Five-Year Funeral Exercise: In his Strategic Coaching course, life coach, Dan Sullivan suggests an assignment where you imagine your funeral five years from the present and think about what you hope and want people to say about you. You should leave this with clarity on what truly matters to you and the ability to set actionable goals to fulfill your intentions.

Gratitude Journaling: A simple daily or weekly reflection on what you were thankful for can help shift focus to the abundance in your life. A Harvard study found this act significantly improved overall happiness.

Annual Review: Similar to writing your own obituary at the end of each year, an annual review gives you the opportunity to look at success, accomplishments, challenges and areas for growth. Some people like the more structured approach in this example.

Simply put, life is finite and precious. Taking time to evaluate and look inward will always help you get closer to the type of life you want to live.

Wreaths Across America, an Annual Tradition at Toledo Memorial Park

2024 marks the 12th year of the Wreaths Across America event at Toledo Memorial Park (the Park). Supporting veterans and their families is a very important part of what we do at the Park each and every day and this event serves as a touching yearly reminder of the good that comes from this work.

Every December the Wreaths Across America program brings communities together to honor and remember the service and sacrifice of veterans. The simple placement of wreaths on the graves of fallen heroes serves as a beautiful visual. What started as an effort to use surplus wreaths in a meaningful way has turned into more than 3,700 locations across the United States making sure veteran graves receive a wreath and a moment of thoughtful reflection.

In 2023, the Park placed more than nine thousand wreaths on veteran graves helping the venue to become the number one Wreaths Across America location in the entire state of Ohio and putting the Park in the top ten nationwide. All of this goes to show the importance and strength of the northwest Ohio community.

The mission of Wreaths Across America is to remember the fallen; honor those who serve; and to teach the next generation the value of freedom. Each year, it’s our hope that our event expresses this important message.

Help out by honoring a fallen hero by sponsoring a remembrance wreath, volunteering at the event or by attending with your family and loved ones. We hope to see you there.

Event details:

Date: Saturday, Dec. 14, 2024
Time: noon
Location: Toledo Memorial Park

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Nov. 20, 2024
Media Contact:
Sara Stacy on behalf of Image Focus: 
(313) 510-2775 or sarastacypr@gmail.com

 Toledo Memorial Park Hosts 12th Annual Wreaths Across America Event 

We honor the past through ceremony and education.  

Sylvania, OH—The annual Wreaths Across America program at Toledo Memorial Park (the Park) is set for Saturday, Dec. 14, 2024, at noon. The event marks the 12th annual presentation of wreaths at the Park.

The mission of Wreaths Across America is to remember the fallen; honor those who serve; and to teach the next generation the value of freedom. “As a local venue for this important event we consider and value this mission the same way we value our own at the Park,” said Jeff Clegg, president and CEO of the Park.  “We work every day to honor the legacy of first responders and veterans and this event and celebration of those who have served is a great way to end each year at the Park.” 

Visitors on Dec. 14 will experience a touching ceremony with wreath placement immediately following. This special event remembers and honors veterans by laying remembrance wreaths on the graves of our country's fallen heroes.

Last year, the Park placed more wreaths than any venue in Ohio. Please help us honor and remember as many fallen heroes as possible by sponsoring remembrance wreaths, volunteering on Wreaths Day or inviting your family and friends to attend with you. Specific grave requests at the cemetery can be made by contacting the location coordinator, Mel Harbaugh, at 46elapid@gmail.com to help ensure wreath placement.

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Toledo Memorial Park
Established in 1922, Toledo Memorial Park is the area’s finest cemetery, with 380 beautiful acres of meadows, ponds, magnificent trees, flowering plants and sculptures all designed to celebrate the living beauty of nature. Our goal has been to create a peaceful retreat where generations can gather in beauty and tranquility to remember their loved ones. The non-sectarian, non-denominational, non-profit Park is solely owned by property owners who believe in family, choices and commitment. The Park includes a crematory, mausoleums, chapels, columbariums and burial sections accommodating both lawn level memorials and upright monuments and provides for all individual preferences including earth burial, mausoleum entombment, cremation and inurnment. For more information visit www.ToledoMemorialPark.com or call (419) 882-7151.

A New Twist on the Final Resting Place

As you may or may not know, cremation is on the rise. According to the Cremation Association of North America, the percentage of people choosing cremation has gone from 5% in 1970 to 60% in 2023. The demand just keeps increasing. A part of what comes with this is people needing to decide on final resting spots for those cremains.

Of course, there are traditional answers to every question. For instance, the team here at Toledo Memorial Park can easily help with setting up final resting for your loved one who has chosen cremation. Reach out for cremation information any time. But, like any topic, there are unusual alternatives out there.

This story from KVPR dives into the idea of the final frontier—space—as a final resting place. While this might seem a little wild, with the commercialization of space, the idea is now possible. For some people, this is no different than scattering ashes in special places around the globe for their loved ones.

Whether you’re looking for something more traditional for your loved one or you think they might appreciate a little adventure in the afterlife, there’s an option for everyone.

Learn more about scattering ashes from our previous blog on the topic.