Funeral etiquette and expectations is a topic that comes up often in our neck of the woods. Attending a funeral is an emotional experience regardless of how close you were to the deceased. You might simply be there to provide support to someone during their time of grief and that’s an equally important reason. We’ve compiled this guide to help you through the process of navigating a funeral to help you feel prepared and respectful.
The Basics:
Funerals tend to have a typical structure and often include:
Arrival: Guests arrive, sign a guestbook and mingle.
Service or Ceremony: This, traditionally, includes readings, eulogy, preferred religion of the family and music. Today, families might include more personalized elements like videos and slideshows, etc…
Viewing or Visitation: Some funerals include an opportunity to pay respects to an open casket.
Procession and Burial/Interment: This may include a drive to the cemetery where the deceased will be buried or have cremains interred.
Reception: Many families choose to have a gathering with food and a celebration of life.
Tips for Handling Crying and Grief:
As we said above, funerals are emotional for many reasons. Here are some ways to handle the emotions with grace:
Be Prepared: Go into the event understanding that you might cry and others will cry. It’s totally normal. Bring tissues for yourself and to share.
Practice Mindfulness: Some people find it helpful to focus on breathing to help regulate emotions.
Lean on People for Support: Find friends and family who you can be vulnerable with in this emotional setting. And be that support for others if needed.
General Etiquette:
Arrive on time.
Dress appropriately.
Be respectful of the program as well as family customs and religion.
Turn off your electronics.
Exiting the Event:
Choose a quiet moment, a pause between program sections, or between speakers.
Use a rear exit or the most discreet exit, if you need to leave during the event.
Express condolences if the opportunity to do so is timely. If you are leaving before the event is over, express condolences at a later date with a card or message.
Hopefully, these tips and explanations are helpful to you. Attending a funeral can be daunting, but it is a sign of respect and support that goes a very long way for the people you love.
For more on grief and loss, this article from Psychology Today may be helpful.